Words To Chew On
From FS (Farnam Street) Briain Food vide FS (a free blog) for “actionable ideas and insights you can use at work and home”.
“Don’t aim at success — the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication…In the long run — in the long run, I say! — success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.”
— Viktor Frankl
“The common trait of people who supposedly have vision is that they spend a lot of time reading and gathering information, and then they synthesize it until they come up with an idea.”
— Fred Smith, Overnight Success: Federal Express and Frederick Smith, Its Renegade Creator
“People are more adept [at] working against [things] than oftentimes we give them credit for. We often think of people working for things, but they often work against things. They work against poverty. They work against their upbringing. They work against some of these things just as much as they’re working for them. Some people are very fear-driven. We talk about fear as being very negative, but it also can be very positive.”
— Dr. Julie Gurner
You don’t need more time; you need more focus. Fewer projects. Fewer commitments. Fewer obligations. Fewer responsibilities. Carefully choose your commitments, then go all in.
Rich people have money. Wealthy people have time.
In the short term, you are as good as your intensity. In the long term, you are only as good as your consistency.
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Musings of An Idle Philosopher
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No Roads Take To A Destination…
which is there now and not there next.
From Emily Esfahani Smith (journalist/author of “The Power of Meaning”) in her Ted talk:
“I used to think the whole purpose of life was pursuing happiness. Everyone said the path to happiness was success, so I searched for that ideal job, that perfect boyfriend, that beautiful apartment. But instead of ever feeling fulfilled, I felt anxious and adrift. And I wasn’t alone; my friends — they struggled with this, too…
Eventually, I decided to go to graduate school for positive psychology to learn what truly makes people happy. But what I discovered there changed my life. The data showed that chasing happiness can make people unhappy. And what really struck me was this: the suicide rate has been rising around the world, and it recently reached a 30-year high in America. Even though life is getting objectively better by nearly every conceivable standard, more people feel hopeless, depressed and alone. There’s an emptiness gnawing away at people, and you don’t have to be clinically depressed to feel it. Sooner or later, I think we all wonder: Is this all there is? And according to the research, what predicts this despair is not a lack of happiness. It’s a lack of something else, a lack of having meaning in life…
But that raised some questions for me. Is there more to life than being happy? And what’s the difference between being happy and having meaning in life? Many psychologists define happiness as a state of comfort and ease, feeling good in the moment. Meaning, though, is deeper. The renowned psychologist Martin Seligman says meaning comes from belonging to and serving something beyond yourself and from developing the best within you. Our culture is obsessed with happiness, but I came to see that seeking meaning is the more fulfilling path. And the studies show that people who have meaning in life, they’re more resilient, they do better in school and at work, and they even live longer…
So this all made me wonder: How can we each live more meaningfully? To find out, I spent five years interviewing hundreds of people and reading through thousands of pages of psychology, neuroscience and philosophy. Bringing it all together, I found that there are what I call four pillars of a meaningful life. And we can each create lives of meaning by building some or all of these pillars in our lives…”
They are:
The first: “The first pillar is belonging. Belonging comes from being in relationships where you’re valued for who you are intrinsically and where you value others as well…”
The second: “For many people, belonging is the most essential source of meaning, those bonds to family and friends. For others, the key to meaning is the second pillar: purpose. Now, finding your purpose is not the same thing as finding that job that makes you happy. Purpose is less about what you want than about what you give…”
The third: “The third pillar of meaning is also about stepping beyond yourself, but in a completely different way: transcendence. Transcendent states are those rare moments when you’re lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away, and you feel connected to a higher reality. For one person I talked to, transcendence came from seeing art. For another person, it was at church. For me, I’m a writer, and it happens through writing…”
The fourth: “The fourth pillar is storytelling, the story you tell yourself about yourself. Creating a narrative from the events of your life brings clarity. It helps you understand how you became you. But we don’t always realize that we’re the authors of our stories and can change the way we’re telling them. Your life isn’t just a list of events. You can edit, interpret and retell your story, even as you’re constrained by the facts…”
Well, there it is.
Of the four, the last, storytelling would not resonate with most of us in this land. It’s similar to the view that holding an image of yourself standing on the victory stand gets you there, or helps. Here it is considered as completely self-delusional, not seen as of value.
Among the other three, sense of belonging and transcendence could provide helpful support for carrying on, the main is the ‘purpose’, the key.
At the station many of us are in life, constrained physically, mentally and financially, even little acts/words of kindness to relieve, even if momentarily, other man’s (sentient or otherwise) burden, is a good enough purpose to pursue. Would want us to long and live for another day in life! What do you think?
A recent article on the subject in TIME kind of confirms the need for a higher purpose. It says researchers have found the long-touted strategies for Happiness –
- expressing gratitude
- increasing social interactions
- practicing mindfulness or meditation
- spending more time in nature
- exercisie
‘- do not provide sustained results.!!!
Well, what does at all then?
Not surprising at all if it is understood happiness is a transitory state of mind while purpose is a soul-satisfying driving force.
The Ted talk is available here: Emily Esfahani Smith: There’s more to life than being happy | TED Talk and the article in Time at: Science Studies Don’t Actually Support Happiness Strategies | Time
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Living Is Life!
Rashmi Kothari in Quora
(lightly edited)
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Some people just come in your life to inspire.
One such incident happened with me yesterday. I had booked an Ola Bike (like taxi) and the vehicle that arrived surprised me. It had two extra wheels at the back.
I gave him the OTP (onetime password like “It will rain in May!!”) and asked for a helmet (didnt know it is included in the ride!). The driver said it was an army bike, and I didn’t have to put a helmet. I insisted because what if the traffic police would fine me and also was it safe? He said, “Arey Madam ji aap chinta matt karo ye especially abled Ex-Army Man ki scooty hai koi kuch nahi bol sakta aur isme 4 chakke isiliye hai taaki aap safe raho” (please ma’am be rest assured nothing would happen since it’s an Ex-Army Man’s scooty also it has 4 wheels so that it doesn’t slip).
He had a speaker attached on the bike and was vibing on Ed Sheeran’s ‘Beautiful People’ and ‘I am so Lonely’ by Arash. Trust me his playlist, at the age of about 50 was much better than 80% people our generation.
The entire ride I had so many questions going on in my mind. After the ride ended, I asked him his name and that even after lower body completely paralysed why does he have to ride an Ola Bike? If he said this was an army bike, doesn’t he get a pension from the Government?
His replies made me…
Meet Mohan Khan (name changed for confidential purposes). That name makes you curious right? Well, his mom was from a Hindu Brahmin family and his father was a Muslim. He had served in the army from 1993-2004. Due to a mishap, he survived but his lower body was paralyzed forever. He does get a pension but rides a bike for fun because he feels lonely at home. He never married because of the accident. He likes listening to English songs and riding this customised scooty that he got himself from his pension.
He rides a scooty even after being differently abled.
He sings out songs loud.
He is happy with whatever he is doing.
He wishes to live!
Jai Bharat (Hail India). That’s what he said to me when I turned back to go home. I replied with a Jai Bharat too!
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Higher Purpose In Life – Secret To Eudemonic Happiness
A perfectly secular approach.
Some around us, we see, are driven in their life by a higher purpose. Call it passion or whatever. Not unusual to find these folks – never mind their station: age, finance…– dearly wishing to live longer and be more vigorous in their pursuit!!
What does it do for them? Besides their zest for life, just when many of us shy away from the occasional pop-up of the uncomfortable thought: ‘What are we doing with ourselves in life?
Ignoring the rest, watch these secular parts of this clip here
https://www.facebook.com/watch?v=647084330484746
from Swami Mukundananda (0:0 to 4:57) and (9:04 to 12: 18) (the vanilla WP used here does not permit uploading (trimmed) clips☹). He presents two great stories for real! The message here is, god or no god: identifying a higher purpose gives one the courage, fortitude and strength to face up to the odds, often unimaginable, and derive eudemonic happiness. A good morning run after pulling away from bed, austerities practiced by training athletes or soldiers risking their lives are a few other examples cited of higher purpose playing out.
The short and secular Gita essay Why we are NOT defined by our desires takes a different view on higher purpose, no less exciting. It is seen as key to achieve the ‘impossible’ – mind control!! The message given out here is: Our higher purpose allows us to observe our desires objectively, enabling our mind and body to respond appropriately, not swayed by overwhelming desires. Once again god or no god.
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Talking To Myself
Yesterday a good friend of recent acquaintance – a retired senior executive from corporate sector, erudite, penning short stories on amazingly various themes and in profusion – called from US. They, he and his wife, were having a discussion on “Would you experience a feeling at all if there was no word for it in your language?” This was part of a larger theory that language is a trap to thinking, precluding a lot of untrodden paths just because there are no words to describe. Just like the allegation against search engines.
Felt honored and nervous at being drawn into the discussion. My reading is limited to PGW and Vyasar Virundhu, nothing more sophisticated. Far from anything in linguistics, philosophy, etc.
Nevertheless, I have this propensity for not reading the signs, treading where others wisely back off!! (I don’t drive!)
It was refreshing to contemplate on something more than the…
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More On Happiness…
Happy And Sad
Was on my morning walk around the park.
Taking in the world up, yawning and cracking its knuckles.
The scene carried from yesterday, the day before…
failing miserably to get me down.
All the same, breaths laboured, carefully counting,
for the toil to finish.
Saw him a few feet ahead crossing the road
and coming my way.
A small withered body on a pair of purposeful legs.
A rag picker, clutching an out-sized sack thrown over his shoulders.
Heads down on the sidewalk,
not eying for more, content with the bounty.
The early bird had got the worms.
I took out from my pocket
a couple of tenners kept handy.
What ever happened to those twenties in orange?
When he came alongside, stride not broken,
lost in thoughts,
it was ditto with thoughts too…in other minds.
I gently tapped on his bony shoulders.
A couple of fogged but alert eyes looked up
from under bushy brows.
Concerned and it was not the constabulary…
Wordlessly I shoved the notes, worn but good
into his knobbly hand
that had not lifted up a wee bit.
I walked away suffused with goodness.
Happy moments. Why, verry…
Looking at and back was distasteful, I thought.
A few paces ahead, heard someone sobbing.
Looked around and found none.
Finally, I could figure out.
Confined in my pocket,
it was the fifty…for losing out
to its mates, mere tenners.
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A Simple Unostentatious Gesture…
A municipal worker, heads down, cleaning the street, an auto-driver taking you home in the worst evening traffic and not asking a rupee more (of course, only in Mumbai), a security guard standing at his station all day long – all, people serving you or others.
Today it was a small bunch of medical staff seen in my morning walk conducting free medical-check-up for common folks from a few tables and chairs set up outside Diamond Gardens…
Well, how does one express one’s appreciation, beyond a ‘thank you’, appropriate for the occasion (money is not in many cases) and without expending a wad of currency notes?
I have found handing out ice-cold bottled drinking water bought from a nearby stall is well-received universally. Especially in these months. Not a heavy drain on the wallet at ten rupees a bottle. The surprise on their faces, especially with public servants, is a priceless reward for this small act.
Try it! Experience it!!
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Sanmargam 