A Debt Impossible To Discharge

16th of September is an unforgettable day for me – the day a few years ago my old lady (80+) quit on me saying enough is enough. She had carried on gamely all these years hosting ailments in her body that sent doctors routinely back to their books.

With great grand-daughter

This day is also unforgettable for another reason.

In those dark hours following her last breath, I was barely registering what was happening around me and what needed to be done thereafter. You could say I didn’t handle it well; for, after all the lady had lived a full life and was in and out of hospitals in the later years. But then a mother is a mother at any age, had been with her all these years under the same roof. A simple soul, lived not an easy life uncomplainingly, bore rancour towards none, often giving out profound wisdom in her own un-guru like ways. And, I had desperately wanted her to come back from the brink like she did on earlier occasions. Sadly it was not to be this time.

Fortunately I had two veritable angels – no other kith or kin – TRS and SRK (cousin), standing by me taking care of everything save lighting the funeral pyre which I did. And, thanks in no small measure to their spouses, U and V, for their support.

Much later, I learnt the day TRS spent with me in the hospital and the crematorium was his birthday! And SRK had his aged mother (my atthai) living with him who could not be left alone!

So it is today.

End

9 thoughts on “A Debt Impossible To Discharge

  1. I pray to your beloved mother’s soul to bless us all, specially TRS who sacrificed his birthday celebrations to give that beloved soul a loving departure from this world. My birthday greetings to TRS.

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  2. A good tribute to the revered mother. The roles played by your cousins is noteworthy and commendable esp when the key person is shaken up the event. My salute to them

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  3. A mother is a mother ; when our mother was ill and suffering I thought for a moment “ may be she welcomes death at this juncture “ ; now the house is empty without her but I see her everywhere ! Death is inevitable; after all we are also not imperishable n will leave this world sooner or later But we can never apply this to our near n dear relatives , in some people’s case ,time heals the wound quickly With you KR , it takes time as no one can replace a mother .

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  4. Thank you so much for sharing this deeply personal reflection. I too have similar thoughts about the death of my mother. It feels like such a deeply private experience, and yet I suspect many of us reflect on the death of someone so terribly important to us in a similar way. And in my case, at least, those reflections seem to become more potent over the years.

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    1. Yes, the reflections get stronger and perhaps even more meaningful over the years. Suddenly the words take on an import, not perceived earlier. It is said sainthood is a lot easier to handle than living a life, despite its challenges, made worth the while by the warmth of these relationships. Thanks, Terry.

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